This is something that you have to do with great caution. Even in high school, most of the time, it’s better for the student-athlete to talk to a coach (unless, of course, there’s an issue of inappropriate behavior by someone affiliated with the team). There are several reasons for me to say this, but one of the main reasons is for the student-athlete to take responsibility for issues related to playing time, coaching style, and so on.

In the case of college coaches, I would put yourself in their position, and consider how things look from that perspective. Except with “money sports” (Division I football, basketball, and in a few cases, baseball), coaches generally don’t have enough staff to get things done with anything less than Herculean effort. Because of this, they’re generally suffering from fatigue and sleep-deprivation most of the time. Put yourself in such a mindset, and then imagine someone coming to talk to you about your job. Even if the question is completely legitimate, you may get a short or ill-tempered response. It’s just human nature.

Instead, I would seek out someone associated with the team, but not on the coaching staff. Have the student-athlete talk to one of the players, or possibly an assistant. They might suggest a discussion with the coach (in which case it’s appropriate to proceed), or they might be able to answer the question directly. Either way, you’re demonstrating respect for the coach’s time, even before the first conversation. Who wouldn’t appreciate someone doing that? – Tim

P.S. There is one clear exception to this, and that’s when the student-athlete is at a sport-specific camp. At such events, you probably won’t see the head coach, but you should have a chance to talk with some of the assistant coaches, and can probably get the information/feedback you’re looking for.

Thank you for that. I think both of us would agree that there were many ways that your parents and mine got some things right, and some things wrong. The job they obviously got right was giving us those foundations for long-term success, which is to say success that may not be borne out in my lifetime or yours. Instead, that success may not be fully realized until one examines our sons, and the lives that they lead. – Tim