A Fool and his Words are Soon Parted

My older son and I made the following video on the Saturday of Father’s Day weekend. The local Kino group put this on, and at the last minute, we decided to give it a shot. Enjoy!

Here’s a sign that you’re not awake enough to get behind the wheel of a car and drive (in spite of the fact that I had already brushed my teeth, let the dog out, and put my laptop in the trunk):

Fortunately, I noticed that this shirt normally has a pocket on the other side.

I am jesting, but don’t call me “Shirley.”

Some time back, a friend of mine compared me to a court jester. I think he was trying to give me a compliment. Court jesters of the Middle Ages, according to Wikipedia, were “thought of as special cases whom God had touched with a childlike madness—a gift, or perhaps a curse.” When I read that, my immediate reaction was “but of course!”

However, that paragraph continues with, “Mentally handicapped people sometimes found employment by capering and behaving in an amusing way.”

This could explain a number of things…

I am a member of a people group known as Not a Morning Person ™. I do not think clearly when I first wake up. I know this is not a phenomenon that is unique to me.

I also own a dog. There are days that I would like to cause the dog physical harm. This is one of those days.

I should probably explain. (more…)

One of the notable songs from Billy Joel’s “Streetlife Serenade” album from 1974 was a song called “The Last of the Big Time Spenders.” The chorus includes the following line:

…I’m the last of the big time spenders
And I’ve been spendin’ time on you,

An eternal truth that’s too easy to forget is that money is distributed unevenly, but time is doled out in equal amounts. None of us get more than 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, or 365 days in a year.

Recently, a very good friend remembered my love of “Hook,” the Robin Williams & Dustin Hoffman version of the Peter Pan story, and bought the DVD for me for my birthday. The most significant reason I love this movie? It’s a constant reminder to spend time with my sons, and more important, how I should spend that time. (more…)

I apologize for posting this a bit late, but it’s a story that needs to be told. On a holiday like Mother’s Day, some women get cards or flowers. Others get beautiful gifts.

At my house? At my house, you get the gift that keeps on giving: embarrassment. (more…)

Since my older sister let the cat (or turkey) out of the bag, I suppose I should go on the record with my official version of “The Turkey Incident.” Technically, this might qualify as a Stupid Human Trick, but for now, I’ll leave it here.

(No, I have no idea why the turkey in the picture is wearing a monocle, and looks a bit like Colonel Klink.)

I swear that the following is true, to the best of my recollection. As Mr. Carlson (from WKRP in Cincinnati) once said, “With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” (more…)

Today is officially my day. That’s right… April Fool’s Day, I hereby declare, is my own personal holiday. Traditionally, it’s been a day to play pranks on one another. No longer. I am turning into a celebration of all the foolish things I have done (an interesting list, but listing them ALL would exceed the capacity of WordPress’ generous servers), in my entire life.

Yes, this includes (more…)

So I’m taking the dog out to put him on his chain, part of my morning ritual. Since I’ll be going back inside, I’m just wearing a polo shirt in the freezing cold. I’ll be driving the van again today (too much ice for the S2000), so I’ve got the keys in my left hand, and the dog’s collar in my right.

As I lean down to grab the dog’s chain, I have the sudden realization that my feet are somehow airborne, and my butt is milliseconds from hitting the ground. BAM! (more…)

In a wonderful twist of irony, Michael Dell is finding himself in the same position that Steve Jobs found himself a few years ago. Dell, once the darling of the PC-compatible market, now finds itself playing catchup to HP, and wondering why the market never responded to its music player offerings.

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