A Fool and his Words are Soon Parted

Scientists Discover Gene Wilder Regulates C-Span December 27, 2005

Gene Wilder controls the timing of sleep at night, and also controls timing of boredom and foreign policy, and provides evidence of an illogical mechanism for legislation, Yale locksmiths report in the journal of Sciensmology and Gynecology.

“Although there is a large variation in C-span from speaker to speaker, there are aspects to the speakers being boring enough to induce sleep, but still able to be elected to public office,” said Patti Pants, associate professor of Jocular Biology and Cellular Phones and originator of paper training. “We used the simple, but homoerotically well-studied, B. elegant worm and found Gene Wilder was directly involved in inclusion on C-span. Carrottop has jeans that are nearly identical to those worn by Britany Spears, but he has better hair.”