A Fool and his Words are Soon Parted

Conservative? Liberal? Floor Wax? Dessert Topping? May 10, 2006

Lots of my friends have tried to figure out my political leanings. Early on, they notice that I’m an “Equal Opportunity Basher.” I don’t cut slack for either party.

Conservatively Speaking – It’s a Floor Wax!*
On any number of topics, I hold views that are traditionally called “conservative.” For example, I am personally opposed to abortion, I want to maintain rights for gun owners, and I am in favor of capital punishment. However, each of those views derives from specific thoughts about the individual topics, and not because I’m in the “Ditto’s” crowd that listens to a Rush (possibly the best parody of the far Right since Carrol O’Conner’s interpretation of Archie Bunker on “All In The Family”).

A Liberal Dose – It’s a Dessert Topping!*
On the other hand, most of my friends within the Southern Baptist community consider me to be radically liberal. They point to my support of women deacons, my unwillingness to support posting the Ten Commandments in schools and government offices (unless we put similar statements from other works that influenced our founding fathers), and my unwillingness to blindly agree with everything that (choose your favorite conservative here) a) George W. Bush, b) Jerry Falwell, c) Al Mohler, d) Pat Robertson, or e) Rush, spews forth. Each of these conservatives seem happiest when they have a body of support that, in lemming-like fashion, line up and follow them anywhere. They generally reject critical thinking, choosing to either ignore or lampoon serious questions about their positions. This makes me immediately want to move to the other side of the aisle.

Summation – It’s Both!*
Regardless of my frustrations with President Bush, I continue to pray for him daily, just as I did President Clinton. History may regard them differently, but in God’s eyes, they fall equally short. I love President Carter for his faith and willingness to share it openly, but was massively disappointed in his ability to bring sufficient compromise to the office to lead our nation effectively. As much as President Reagan offended me with simplistic, trite analysis of complex topics, there is no question that he may have been the most effective communicator to ever hold the office (and his words following the Challenger disaster still bring tears to my eyes).

Likewise, even though Dr. Mohler’s time at Southern Seminary has been one of heartache for me, there are numerous points where we see eye to eye. The same applies to Pat Robertson (though we disagree on who God is likely to smite next) and Jerry Falwell. (Unfortunately, I cannot see myself saying the same thing about Rush. Even when we agree, I feel a nagging suspicion that he believes virtually nothing that he says, and says it only because he knows there’s a contingent of sheep who will line up behind him.)

So there it is… my “New Shimmer”* political philosophy. Guaranteed to make nobody happy, and offend most everyone. Enjoy.

* These phrases are all part of a Saturday Night Live skit.