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Maybe Someday… March 6, 2008

Posted by TimTheFoolMan in Growing Up.
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…I’ll hit puberty.

I should probably explain that.

One of the unfortunate side-effects of having the traditional “Viking look” (blue eyes, blonde hair, etc) is that we aren’t much for facial hair until we are well into adult-hood. I’m sure there’s a genetic explanation for this, but I don’t know what it is.

As evidence, I present the following picture, snapped this morning before I shaved. I should point out that I shaved as much out of “I might as well, since I have nothing better to do at this time of the morning” feeling as any real need to do so.

chin

Now, for the bad news. Today is Thursday. The last time I shaved was Monday. Monday morning.

This is not a new phenomenon.

Several years ago, I was asked to portray the Apostle Peter in a theatrical production. Understanding him to have been a “rough hewn” man who worked as a fisherman and lived a not-so-easy life, I was instructed to grow as much facial hair as I could in the six months leading up to the performance.

When the dress rehearsal arrived, the director saw me on-stage and asked, “Tim, weren’t you supposed to try to grow a beard?”

I replied, “I haven’t shaved in six months. This is as good as it’s going to get.”

What little hair was present on my face was blonde, of approximately the same texture as the hair on top of a newborn’s head. (My face being approximately as unfamiliar with hair as a baby’s noggin.) The director sent me back to see the makeup person, who then used mascara to make the blonde wisps of hair more visible to the audience.

When I returned, the director’s face fell. “Great… now it looks like you’ve got 5 o’clock shadow.”

And so now, to this day, I shave regularly, just to avoid the “six month shadow.” While I’d love to grow facial hair, I’m still not to keen on the idea of growing up.

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Comments»

1. Tiffany Taylor - March 6, 2008

My dad had almost no facial hair until he entered the Coast Guard, where they had to shave twice a day with straight razors whether they needed to or not. Before long he had a thick beard. Interestingly, although the hair on his head was dark brown, with just a reddish tinge, his beard was mostly red. When I was growing up, he would periodically grow a beard, and it would give him a funky two-tone effect.

Maybe you should get a straight razor, circa 1950, and try shaving twice a day, every day. Puberty could be just around the corner! 🙂

2. Oscarandre - March 9, 2008

Well, I presume, Tim, that even for Vikings, puberty is a hair raising experience…

3. Tim - March 9, 2008

Tiffany,

That is the most hilarious visual (either the two-tone look or me with a straight razor… take your pick)!

Oscarandre,

That is sooooo wrong, on so many levels.

I laughed anyway. 😀 – Tim


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