A Fool and his Words are Soon Parted

Maybe Someday… March 6, 2008

…I’ll hit puberty.

I should probably explain that.

One of the unfortunate side-effects of having the traditional “Viking look” (blue eyes, blonde hair, etc) is that we aren’t much for facial hair until we are well into adult-hood. I’m sure there’s a genetic explanation for this, but I don’t know what it is.

As evidence, I present the following picture, snapped this morning before I shaved. I should point out that I shaved as much out of “I might as well, since I have nothing better to do at this time of the morning” feeling as any real need to do so.

Now, for the bad news. Today is Thursday. The last time I shaved was Monday. Monday morning.

This is not a new phenomenon.

Several years ago, I was asked to portray the Apostle Peter in a theatrical production. Understanding him to have been a “rough hewn” man who worked as a fisherman and lived a not-so-easy life, I was instructed to grow as much facial hair as I could in the six months leading up to the performance.

When the dress rehearsal arrived, the director saw me on-stage and asked, “Tim, weren’t you supposed to try to grow a beard?”

I replied, “I haven’t shaved in six months. This is as good as it’s going to get.”

What little hair was present on my face was blonde, of approximately the same texture as the hair on top of a newborn’s head. (My face being approximately as unfamiliar with hair as a baby’s noggin.) The director sent me back to see the makeup person, who then used mascara to make the blonde wisps of hair more visible to the audience.

When I returned, the director’s face fell. “Great… now it looks like you’ve got 5 o’clock shadow.”

And so now, to this day, I shave regularly, just to avoid the “six month shadow.” While I’d love to grow facial hair, I’m still not to keen on the idea of growing up.