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Commitment, Breakups, and Occupational Infidelity October 1, 2011

Posted by TimTheFoolMan in Commitment, Friends, Love, Relationships, Self-Worth, Work.
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Recently, I experienced a breakup. Even when we started the relationship, we knew that it would end, and we knew that the end of the relationship would bring pain, regardless of which one of us initiated it. Although she knew, without question, that my heart was divided, and not exclusively hers, we entered into the relationship with eyes wide open and plunged forward. There was no formal commitment (though a relationship as deep and strong as this one would typically be the foundation of a serious commitment), but there was definitely the implication of one.

Having had a variety of relationships, both great and horrible, this breakup might not seem like the kind of thing that would impact me deeply. Hadn’t I, going from one relationship to another, and sometimes being in more than one at a time, become a “player”? Such types don’t get deeply or emotionally involved, but instead use their partners for selfish and self-serving motives, and tend to move on to greener pastures with little thought to those they leave in their dust.

Why then, has this been such an emotional thing for me? Why did I delay the last moments in this relationship, dragging them on for as long as possible? Why was I feeling so… defeated by this? (more…)

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Parable: The Holes are Still There September 28, 2011

Posted by TimTheFoolMan in Family, Forgiveness, Friends, Relationships, Self-Worth.
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This story is not, to the best of my knowledge, rooted in an actual event. I’ve heard several variations, and have quoted one of the shorter versions on this very blog. However, there is a longer version that I heard recently, and it bears repeating here, though this is most definitely my paraphrase and interpretation. The lesson, unfortunately, is one that I’m still learning.

Years ago, a farmer and his wife were sitting down to dinner with their teenage son. The son (behaving as teenagers have a tendency to do), was upset with his parents over what he perceived to be unfair rules, which they had put in place for his protection.

Unable to see their rules as a sign of love and caring, the son lashed out lashed out and said, “You are the worst parents in the world. I can’t believe the way you treat me. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!!!”

The farmer, boiling with anger, said nothing. Instead he stood up, pointed to the son’s room, and waited until his son received the all-too-clear message. Being stubborn, but not stupid, the son quietly got up from the table, walked quietly to his room, and shut the door. For the rest of the evening, not a word was spoken by anyone in the house. (more…)

The Road Not Taken (Before) February 24, 2009

Posted by TimTheFoolMan in Self-Worth.
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Last Friday, I joined the ranks of the unemployed.

This was not by choice. (more…)

On Blessings, Children, and Wrestling Mats November 21, 2007

Posted by TimTheFoolMan in Coaching, Communication, Family, Love, Parenting/Children, Self-Worth, Sports.
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From the Amazon.com description of “The Blessing,” by John Trent and Gary Smalley:

…the life-changing gift the Bible calls “the blessing.” The unconditional love and approval that comes with the blessing is an important element of our self-esteem and emotional well-being. And many of us–perhaps unknowingly–spend a lifetime striving for this acceptance.

wrestling

I love this book, and recommend it highly. However, of late, I’ve seen the reverse effect: My sons have found unexpected ways of blessing me, the parent. (more…)

Big Time-Spender or Big-Time Spender? August 23, 2007

Posted by TimTheFoolMan in Communication, Family, Flatulence, Fun, Humor, Laughter, life, Love, Parenting/Children, Self-Worth, Sports, Stupidity.
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One of the notable songs from Billy Joel’s “Streetlife Serenade” album from 1974 was a song called “The Last of the Big Time Spenders.” The chorus includes the following line:

…I’m the last of the big time spenders
And I’ve been spendin’ time on you,

An eternal truth that’s too easy to forget is that money is distributed unevenly, but time is doled out in equal amounts. None of us get more than 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, or 365 days in a year.

hook

Recently, a very good friend remembered my love of “Hook,” the Robin Williams & Dustin Hoffman version of the Peter Pan story, and bought the DVD for me for my birthday. The most significant reason I love this movie? It’s a constant reminder to spend time with my sons, and more important, how I should spend that time. (more…)