#4: Making up for Halloween
About 10 years ago, I decided to put together a fairly wild costume for Halloween. I wanted to dress up as Carmen Miranda, a Brazilian dancer known for her wild outfits that frequently featured fruit on her hat. At this particular company, they were pretty understanding about outrageous costumes, so this idea wasn’t too surprising.
Now, even someone as stupid as I am has his limits, so instead of getting ready at home and driving to work in drag (refusing offers to drag race all along the way), I packed up my stuff, grabbed my wife’s makeup bag, and drove to work in “normal clothes.” Once I got there, I headed off to the men’s room to get ready.
In college, I spent a summer with a Baptist theater group, travelling around to various churches and performing skits and plays. Along the way, I started doing a fair amount of community theater, and learned how to do basic stage makeup (base, eyeliner, lipstick/liner, and so on).
So there I stood, at the double sink in the men’s room, leaning in toward the mirror putting the finishing touches on my eyeliner. I didn’t have the hat or clothes on yet (the hat, made with real fruit, weighed over 5 lbs), so the only part of my costume that was complete was the makeup.
Just as I’m finishing up, an older gentleman (that I didn’t recognize) walked in behind me, and noticed what I was doing. He smiled, and watched for a second as I continued.
I smiled and said, “Hi… Halloween… ya know?”
Just then his expression changed and he said, “Hey. Don’t I know you? Yes, I think you coach my grandson’s football team.”
I thought to myself, “Not for much longer, I’m afraid.”
A Fool and his Words are Soon Parted 
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